My Broken Heart...

Nehemiah was a cup bearer to a king (he was the fellow who drank the drink before the king to make sure it was not poisoned). Although this might have been a somewhat stressful job...it sounds as if he was living a pretty nice life. While 'wintering' with the king's crew...Nehemiah questioned some guests about his people...a Jewish remnant that survived the exile. He inquired about Jerusalem...the Jewish holy city. He was distressed to learn things weren't well there..he knew it wasn't great...but it was much worse than he had imagined. When hearing the survivors were in great trouble and the walls to the city were broken and the gates burned he grieved. The Word says Nehemiah sat down and wept. He mourned, fasted and prayed.

Today is 9-11. I couldn't help but be reminded of how on this day twelve years ago we all stopped and wept for our fellow countrymen. Regardless of who you were...or where you were...time seemed to stop for a day or so. As countrymen we all joined to mourn lost lives...lost innocence. It didn't matter that we were Texans...or from New Mexico...or Oregon. We grieved. New Yorkers were in pain and we were connected by our common love of country. Suddenly...our perspective was crystal clear. All non essentials were put aside. For a while, as a country we turned fully to God for His guidance, His peace, His comfort. From the pain and the ashes the best of man emerged, filling us with fresh sprigs of hope.

We live in such a bountiful country it is easy to forget the Giver of all good things and become selfish. We can become oblivious to the pain of others. When we grieve for others...we are not numb! I don't want to be numb to the hurting...do you? It is God's kindness that leads us to repentance. Kelly Winter's words pierced my heart when she said,  "God loves me so much He doesn't want to share me with anything...even the American Dream!"

I know I struggle with selfishness. I want to know my sin of selfishness. I want God to break my heart. I want God to change me...use me. I want to live a life that is noble and pure in heart. I want to be set apart...and fully aware. It is only then that I will be fully alive in Him.

                 

                    All of me, None of You
                    Some of me, Some of You
                    Less of me, More of You
                    None of Me, All of You