I wonder...what is my place on the wall?

God pricked Nehemiah's heart. He listened. He responded. He was as clear as a bell about his mission for his God. Then in chapters four and six...Nehemiah meets resistance. Satan hates it when one of God's children gets that serving nudge. He just can't stand it! So...he just starts messing with them.

Here is my struggle. What is God's plan for me? Where is He nudging me? And...am I listening? Do I hear? Am I willing to respond? If I do respond...and there is resistance...do I quit? I know for certain I often say to myself..."well, God shut that door." Clearly He has another plan for me (an easier one that requires no sacrifice on my part). I am guilty. When the going gets too tough...I get going. If I am totally honest with myself I justify my actions...or non-actions...by saying surely this was not God's will. 

Nehemiah and the people's resilience is fascinating. They were ridiculed and insulted. Yet they continued to work with all their heart. I don't know about you but I really don't like it when someone makes fun of me. When ridicule didn't work they hurled threats...basically, 'we are gonna beat you up!' The Israelites responded by posting guards. Next there were death threats. Now...this is pretty much where I would have bailed. But instead the people came up with a plan to protect themselves while working. Half would work while the other half would be posted as guards with swords. They worked wearing heavy armor prepared to fight. They didn't break for baths or changing clothes. Later their enemies tried spreading rumors. Isn't that interesting that rumor spreading was the ultimate threat? I suppose their thinking was if we can't physically kill you...then we will kill you with words...ruin your reputation. Then you will wish you were dead.

Don't you wonder why God just didn't make it easy for them. He could have. He has the power! But there He goes again...turning a curse into a blessing. He takes a broken disgraceful wall...and uses it to build character. He is teaching them much more that architecture...He takes our rubble and redeems and restores. 

All the while Nehemiah stayed focused on the goal. He was clear he was an instrument of God on a  mission. Satan would not have his way...not this time. With God's guidance he would lead the people to restoration...not just of a wall...but of their very souls. I wonder...have I answered the call to the wall? Will God use me for His purpose? If I don't respond...His will will be done...with or without me. I want to go...I want to respond...but will it hurt? What will I have to give up? Who will I have to give up? I wonder if I pick a stone will I add it to the wall...or just toss it to the ground and walk away? I wonder....